Anger. Frustration. Disgust.
When one finds out that she can't have what she always adored of, she first feels these. And yes, it's eventually taken over by stronger feelings of pain. But it's during this transition, from reaction to response that one commits major mistakes. You say and do hurtful things. You come into conclusions. without actually analysing what is happening. You just assume that wrong has been done to you, and start pitying yourself. Pulling yourself into darkness, with the sole company of your own pain. Without actually thinking that , it was probably your first assumption that was wrong. Maybe you saw it all wrong? You didn't wait for your brain, your mind to think it out and tell you what is the situation. You just see things shown to you and.....you think it's the end.
I did that today.
For a while, I couldn't think of any explanation for what was happening with me. I kept thinking, this is it. I'm destined to be sad. I should probably lock myself in a room and save the world from depression. For a couple of hours, all I did was fake laughter, try and make jokes that turned out to be ...well not that funny. Try to concentrate in class, but all I heard was ...i'm sad.
I was trying so hard to bring myself back together, so hard.
And I gave up, I let all the feelings come into me..i decided to endure it all instead of letting it rot my soul within. I was in the verge of tears in my computer lab. And a miracle happened.
Once I stopped trying so hard to get rid of these feelings, they just dissolved away.
I was fine all of a sudden.
And I went through what I thought was wrong. Turns out, everything was fine.. yes there was a small glitch, but it could be solved tomorrow.
You see , the thing about red roses,
It's not the flower, nor the color,
It's the feeling of love they dissipate.
It's all in the feeling, your feeling.
That is what changes your world.
When one finds out that she can't have what she always adored of, she first feels these. And yes, it's eventually taken over by stronger feelings of pain. But it's during this transition, from reaction to response that one commits major mistakes. You say and do hurtful things. You come into conclusions. without actually analysing what is happening. You just assume that wrong has been done to you, and start pitying yourself. Pulling yourself into darkness, with the sole company of your own pain. Without actually thinking that , it was probably your first assumption that was wrong. Maybe you saw it all wrong? You didn't wait for your brain, your mind to think it out and tell you what is the situation. You just see things shown to you and.....you think it's the end.
I did that today.
For a while, I couldn't think of any explanation for what was happening with me. I kept thinking, this is it. I'm destined to be sad. I should probably lock myself in a room and save the world from depression. For a couple of hours, all I did was fake laughter, try and make jokes that turned out to be ...well not that funny. Try to concentrate in class, but all I heard was ...i'm sad.
I was trying so hard to bring myself back together, so hard.
And I gave up, I let all the feelings come into me..i decided to endure it all instead of letting it rot my soul within. I was in the verge of tears in my computer lab. And a miracle happened.
Once I stopped trying so hard to get rid of these feelings, they just dissolved away.
I was fine all of a sudden.
And I went through what I thought was wrong. Turns out, everything was fine.. yes there was a small glitch, but it could be solved tomorrow.
You see , the thing about red roses,
It's not the flower, nor the color,
It's the feeling of love they dissipate.
It's all in the feeling, your feeling.
That is what changes your world.
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